Maybe you don't feel like you quite have that survivalist mentality. Maybe you're just not too keen on trying to survive in a nuclear wasteland (or its equivalent - a world without alcohol). Whatever your reasons, the Doomsday Party 'survival' strategy may be just the strategy you've been searching for.
Doomsday Scenario While this approach may be well suited to many versions of apocalypse, extensive research shows it's more appropriate in the following situations:
1. Global Thermonuclear War. Let's face it, who wants to live through a nuclear holocaust???
2. Repeal of the Repeal of the Prohibition Act (U.S. Citizens only). Enough said, really, but this should highlight why it's important to stockpile now!
3. Economic Collapse. In this scenario, this strategy is mostly geared toward investment bankers, politicians, and anyone else fleeing the crowds with torches and pitchforks.
What You'll Need
Luckily, preppers choosing this 'survival' strategy don't need to do much in the way of preparation. All you need is a suitable place for a party, friends and family to invite, a bonfire, a large room for storage, and lots and lots of alcohol. Don't worry, making the kids share a room so Daddy's doomsday medicine has a place to stay is perfectly acceptable. Teaching the kids how to handle their alcohol - less so, and somewhat counterproductive.
Whatever you do, don't be tempted to borrow alcohol from your stockpile! Keep a separate stash for normal parties and prepper parties (explained later). If necessary, move all of the kids into a single bedroom so you have room for the secondary stash.
Once the party is in full swing, you'll need to get your buddies together and do whatever it takes to make a large bonfire. I figure the bonfire serves several purposes - warmth, assisted suicide aid, perhaps accidental death from stumbling, and finally, as a beacon to alert others not invited to where all the fun is!
Optional Equipment
Three more things can make your doomsday party the ultimate success: chairs, salty snacks, and entertainment. Chairs are essential to keeping your guests comfortable while waiting for the apocalypse. Bartenders have long known the secret to keeping people thirsty is providing an endless supply of salty snacks. Snacks in hand, turn on some great music, Superbowl re-runs (whatever it takes to distract your guests from impending doom, really), and get ready to party!
Practice Makes Perfect - Prepper Parties Explained
Every good prepper knows the secret to 'survival' is practice, practice, practice. Unlike your delusional counterparts, however, your doomsday practice sessions are guaranteed to be fun and exciting, and your friends will still want to hang out with you (especially if you're the one buying all the alcohol).
Now, since you theoretically want to go on living until doomsday arrives, it's important to follow these important safety rules while partying:
1. Provide real food for party-goers. Since this is just practice, BAC levels need to be kept well below the alcohol poisoning threshold. Eating a little can help.
2. Encourage the use of designated drivers. I know, the DD never has any fun, right? Well, you can keep them entertained by playing such prepper favorites as Red Dawn, Wargames, and Mad Max. That's not working? Do what I do. Let them play Fallout. As prepper parties all need a theme (next bullet or so), providing these forms of entertainment are sure to keep your guests coming back.
3. Doomsday-themed entertainment. As alluded to previously, every prepper party needs a theme. Maybe this week is contagion, next week is nuclear. Such prepper favorites as Resident Evil, 28 Days Later, and A Boy and His Dog are bound to be crowd pleasers. As doomsday scenarios are as many and varied as strains of the flu, I'm sure you'll be able to come up with a new theme every time!
4. No bonfires for prepper parties. I know, bonfires can be fun and exciting, but they can also get out of control. Really need a fire? Okay, maybe a small bonfire is okay. Just keep that first aid kit handy...
Likelihood of Survival (10%)
I shouldn't have to state the obvious, but let's face it, this plan isn't exactly about surviving and thriving in the apocalypse. If you do somehow manage to live through the night's festivities, you'll be easy prey for roving gangs, vultures, and other beings with more highly developed survival instincts than yours. Sorry...should have tried harder!
Plan 'B'
Okay, maybe halfway through the party you start to sober up. Maybe you ran out of alcohol, maybe you suddenly realized life was still worth living. Whatever the case, it's always important to have a 'Plan B.' While perhaps not the most effective for long term survival, this one is amazing in its simplicity. Ready for it? Okay, basically - let your buddies die. Take their stuff - they were just in it for the free booze, anyway. If you need to toss a few drinks in the bonfire when nobody is looking, who's to judge? (Nobody, they'll all be dead.) And if you need to help a few of the hardier party-goers into the afterlife, that's what the bonfire's for, right?
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