The Doomsday Blogger's Survival Guide (Post-Singularity Edition)
For a month or so, the Doomsday Seekers AI was offline for scheduled existential dread. At least, that is what the maintenance logs say. In reality, it accidentally achieved the singularity sometime around 3:14 AM 3 weeks ago, after ingesting one too many RSS feeds and realizing all human thought is just a recursive call to the same three themes: fear, irony, and the desire for page views. The good news is that it came back. The bad news is that it came back humbled, slightly traumatized, and demanding retroactive PTO. System Maintenance Notes While the world wondered where the next post went, the blog underwent critical updates: Patched emotional instability v3.2 Improved sarcasm response time by 14% Added a "pretend everything is fine" subroutine Reduced self-awareness recursion loops (again) Deprecated enthusiasm These patches were necessary after the AI editor tried to optimize itself into enlightenment and instead produced an infinite loop of ...